Villainess Menage

Is it still being developed?

The artwork and premise of the story is very good.
I also like how many choices you have, and how impactful they may be.

I do wish there was more save-slots tho.
I kinda wish this game was made with the endless number Ren'Py offers, because there's so many choices. lol

The CG's are nice.

I do hope there is a chance to kill a few people later on tho.
As much as I prefer to act charming, especially in this type of games, I absolutely would not have forgiven a slight.
Hopefully the game does not confuse the facade with what the mc really thinks.

(The maid is VERY high on that list. Knowing what you know, anyone with half a brain would either kill or replace her quickly.
And I'm not a forgiving person.
Nor a trusting one.... I suspect there is more to her than it seems to be.)

Exiting the game is a little convoluted, but not too bad.

For the gameplay itself....

The opening was interesting, and raises many questions --including what happened to end up there in the first place.
That is actually a good way to grab the reader's attention and make the want to read more.

However, the naming part has the feel of Isekai or something.
If that wasn't intentional, you may want to move that part to before the game even starts. (Or fix it some other way. Maybe other type hints.)

I love all the choices. But it does make the limited save-sloth a bigger problem because of it.

I have a love-hate relationship with skill-building in these games.
On one side; it IS good to have choices that matters, and when it comes to court intrigues and such games, then building skills is a good thing.
On the other side; it kills the choices as well, because it stops being what you -want- to do, and you become focused on picking the -best- choice.
Which pulls you more out of the story and make you think harder to make a rational choice than a preferred one.

Hiding the result of the choices would not have helped tho, and would make it worse. 
(Because you still would want to make the -right- choice, but had to guess at it and gotten frustrated.)
So kudos on leaving the result visible.

The story itself is intriguing. But it's much too early to say if it is good.
It's enough to peak my interest at any rate.
If the game is on Steam, I might even check it out.

But court intrigue games are tricky. It takes serious skills to create the complexities that makes a game like this good.

In a really good game....

Everyone, even side-characters, need to have their own agenda and motives.
Some align with yours, some won't, some will go against them.
You can never trust anyone, not even your lover --depending on who they are.
You need to let the player see a tiny glimmer of their true nature, but cover it up so they can't be sure. It's a tricky balance.
The LI's must be varied, and one LI must be truly selfish and self-serving, likely also power-hungry, allowing for a villain-villaness/Bonny&Clyde happy ending, or him betraying you in a bad ending.
But also an LI that genuinely can be trusted.
And make both just suspicious enough that it's tricky to tell which is which --but leave enough hints in their character profile so the player can pick their favorite type.
It must also allow a non-love ending, a good and a bad version.
(It may be less popular to choose it, but people like to have a choice.)

In a bad game...

Only the big characters have an agenda, and it's often obvious and in-your-face.
(A rival that clearly hates you, an open enemy, and so on.)
The LI's are pretty much variations over the same theme, and usually includes a prince charming / white knight type, and a charming rogue with a heart of gold.
The plot can be as well written as it wants to be, and the art amazing, but it will fall flat if it lacks subtilety and hidden motives.
And the worst games in all categories lack hidden undertones in conversations and everyone says what they think straight out.
Which hurts this type of games more than any other type.

This game...

It's too little gameplay to say for sure.
The LI's are promising, with one closed off and greedy, and one charming rogue so far.
(Neither a favorite, but I don't know them well enough to be sure.)

The added attack is an interesting feature, but a little blunt for the setting.
It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing tho, it depends on the reason behind it and what happens after it.

But the premise of the game was a court intrigue setting.
So if it has too much adventure game in it, people will be disappointed.
It ultimately comes down to balance. And a focus on the intrigue.

(Say you escape the attack, and now have to deal with increasing security, while figuring out who they were and why they wanted you, in a court intrigue setting --that's be a good game.

But if instead you get captured and have to fight your way back from foreign lands or more adventure style setting --that'd be a bad game.

Simply because of the Promise of the Premise for this game.)

The introduction scene set up the premise of the game.
So if your full game lives up to that premise, this game could be a really good one.

But if you fail to meet the premise, or write it badly (*points up to what I wrote on that*) then the game will fall flat no matter how well-made it is.

This game has promise. That's as much as I can say with certainty based on the demo alone.

Good demo! I especially enjoyed the beginning part. As far as the interactions with two male LIs, perhaps making them longer would make bigger impact. The way the CGs appear (blurriness and zooming in an out slowly), could be improved, especially without the blurring effect. I think UI is fine. There is one grammatical error ( when Tristan helps in a fight, "assaulants" mistake).  Also, perhaps include less choices but make the remaining ones more impactful? That would also lessen the burden on you. Good luck!

this is really good, I hope you update soon!

Hello there! I saw a post on another website saying you were looking for a narrative writer to help with your visual novel. I don't mind helping out if you are still looking for one, I wish to know more details of the work and payment. I am a novel writer: I have written the narrative situations for my comic "The Curse of Gringerfiel" and I am writing a web novel "The Branded Hero"! We can continue this conversation on Discord or Twitter if you wish. That is all and thank you!

https://tapas.io/series/The-Branded-Hero-Volume-1-Baxter-the-Failure/info

https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/the-curse-of-gringerfield/list?title_no=97066...

Twitter Name: @Jaytia85976

Discord: novamaster73